This is the very first blog post on my website.
I will mostly be posting about Korean language, but I’ll also write about anything else I’d like to share 🙂
As you can see, something’s a lot different about my nose right?
I recently got a nose job.
To those of you who are interested to know about my rhinoplasty experience and my general story behind it, this blog post is for you. I also hope this would be of help to you in case you are interested in getting rhinoplasty as well.
*Why I Decided to get Rhinoplasty (another word for a nose job)
The reason is very simple and predictable; it’s because I didn’t like my nose. I had been very insecure about my nose for the past two years. To be honest, since I was young, I’d always been aware that I don’t have a pretty nose, but I never seriously thought of getting a nose job or changing it. My eyes were rather what I didn’t like. I had very small eyes back then, so I was more unhappy with my eyes, but I got by just fine with my nose.
But then around mid 2018, my nose started to sag down and look a lot bigger and look more noticeable in a negative way. I also noticed people noticing my nose a lot more. At first, I forced myself not to care. I told myself that I am being sensitive and it’s not a big deal. But I noticed myself becoming more and more conscious of my nose, and being mentally and even socially affected by it. I tried so hard to ignore it and pretended I was confident regardless, but after months of denying, I finally ended up admitting to myself that I don’t like my nose and need to do something about it.
So I initially planned to get rhinoplasty at the end of last year. I even paid a reservation fee for the scheduled surgery with this one plastic surgeon in Korea. But as the surgery date came closer, I didn’t want to get it. I mean, I really wanted to change my nose for sure and have been really stressed about it, but at the same time, I didn’t want to get an actual surgery, because I was afraid of all the potential side effects and also the thought of something going wrong scared me. Also I couldn’t afford to take a long break from my teaching job. I was told that for the recovery, I need at least a month break, and that was way too long for my students to wait.
So I kept pushing it back, and then covid-19 happened and I had to push it back again and again, until this June. That’s when I started to get tired. I’d already gotten used to the stress I was getting from my insecurity, but I was so sick of it. And the thought of getting a surgery didn’t scare me anymore, because now I was more scared of living like this forever. So I finally decided that I will be getting a nose job this August. And so it happened.
*What exactly was done to your nose?
Depending on the shape of your nose and the surgeon’s preference, the method and materials used for the surgery are different. For me, I got both my nose bridge and nose tip done. To be honest, at first I wasn’t interested in lifting my nose bridge. I was more unhappy with how sagged down and big my nose tip was, so I wanted to fix only that, but the surgeon said if I lift only the tip of my nose and the rest of the part stays the same, it will look even more unbalanced and unnatural, and so I have to get both done. It made sense. So I got a silicone implant for the nose bridge (5mm), and they used my ear cartilage to lift the nose tip.
I also got my upper nose bone on both sides shaved a bit. The surgeon told me that I have a wide nose bridge, so if I get them shaved, they can make it thinner and it will fix the asymmetry. I just trusted the surgeon and went with what he said, but to be honest, now I think I didn’t really have to get it shaved. But I’m mostly satisfied with the result, so I am not complaining, but if I go back, I would tell the surgeon I wouldn’t want my bone shaved. I feel like it’s kind of too much .
Getting a surgery itself wasn’t too difficult. All the difficult parts were up for the surgeon to do, and all I had to do was lie down and get a surgery. And because of anesthesia and sedation, I fall asleep during the surgery and I don’t feel any pain. I do wake up mid-surgery, but still I don’t feel pain at all. But I do get to see and hear what’s going on right in front of my face. That’s a little scary, but I cannot see my own face and what exactly they are doing, so it was okay. And they put me back to sleep a few minutes later, and the next time I wake up again, the surgery is 99% done. So as a patient, the surgery itself wasn’t difficult.
*Recovery Process (aka the worst part…)
But when it comes to post-surgery days, it’s a different story. The first few weeks of recovery was physically and mentally a very hard time for me. Especially the FIRST WEEK! I want to describe it as my time spent in hell.
To be honest, it’s not that hard physically. The biggest physical discomfort I experienced was that I could not breathe through my nose. To stop the bleeding, they put a huge cotton tissue inside the nose holes (on both sides!) so I have to mouth-breathe, and that is very uncomfortable and you become more prone to getting a sore throat. Worse yet, you cannot taste the food. (One good thing about this is that you can have non-tasty, very healthy food and still taste nothing. haha.) The first day was the hardest, but I got used to it, so I wouldn’t say this was the most horrible part. But I don’t want to experience that ever again, and I also realized that nose breathing is such a precious gift.
And unlike what many people would expect, the nose doesn’t hurt even during the recovery process. Maybe it’s because the sedation treatment lasts long and the pain killers they prescribe really works.
The most horrible part was what I experienced mentally.
Before the surgery, I didn’t worry at all about the aesthetic result. The biggest concern I had was mostly about the side effects I might experience, but not the shape of the result. I trusted my surgeon in that part, because he was confirmed to be a very experienced surgeon.
But right after the surgery, they gave me the mirror and showed my nose, and it didn’t look right. My nose tip was lifted too much, and you could see the whole part of my nostrils that it reminded me of a pig’s nose. The surgeon told me that this was because of the swell, and the nose tip will fall as the swell disappears. But that wasn’t enough to have me rest assured.
I didn’t make it obvious to my surgeon, but I was very anxious and worried about the result. I thought maybe the surgeon is just saying that because he wants me to stay calm. Maybe he made a mistake during the surgery, and ended up making my nose into a pig’s nose. OMG! After all those years of wait, I get a pig’s nose! This can’t be true. This isn’t happening. I even paid quite huge bucks! What was all that worth?
This is basically what I thought at least once a day during the first week of recovery. I mostly stayed at home, and I cried at least once a day. There was nothing I could do to think in a more positive way. I was even suicidal.
I am not trying to blame something else for the mental instability I experienced, but I think the pills they prescribe for the recovery do affect you mentally. I did a little research, and those are very strong pills and have big and small side effects. This is not medically confirmed, but I think those pills do take away one’s mental power to a certain extent. I found myself keep thinking negative thoughts no matter how hard I try not to, and I couldn’t do anything about it. All I could do to make up for my sadness and depression was to watch funny movies and videos. One movie I watched during the recovery was “Lady Bird,” with Saoirse Ronan playing the main character. It was very funny. I recommend you guys to watch it whenever you have time.
After a week, they finally pulled out the tissues stuck in my nose hole and I was able to breathe through my nose again! I was also wearing a small plastic plate and tapes around my nose for protection, and they replaced them to a new one.
And it looked so much better.
I was rest assured now, and I could believe what the surgeon had told me. That it will get better with time. I was happy.
But then 5 days later, they removed all the tapes and the plate, but my nose still seemed fat and unnatural. The surgeon told me that I should wait. He told me it takes weeks, months and even years for the whole swell to go away and get the final nose shape. But I was still worried. I cried on the way home in the bus. It was embarrassing. Oh boy, I cried so many times during the recovery weeks….
But thankfully, the surgeon was right again. It did get better with time.
It’s still getting better. 80% of the swells and bruises from the surgery are gone now. There are still some left, but I know it will get better.
*My Thoughts on Plastic Surgery
I know I am not the right person to say this, but it’s better to NOT get a plastic surgery as much as possible. Especially for the surgeries where they put foreign substances in your skin or body parts, it’s not as simple as getting it done and becoming prettier. Plastic surgery is more than just a before and after picture. You grow old with that substance in your body, and nobody can predict what would happen at which point in your life; what kind of side effects you would get to suffer, how it would change its shape aesthetically as the time passes etc. And there are definitely more things to be careful of, compared to when you are completely natural. So the best is to live with your naturally born face and body.
I genuinely envy people who are completely content and confident with their natural face. I wish I was like that too. But as a person who had cosmetic surgery on two parts of my face (eyes and nose,) I do understand people who want to get a plastic surgery. I also don’t think of plastic surgery in a negative way anymore. I know what it’s like to suffer from stress, insecurity and even social anxiety because of the way you look, and I do think plastic surgery can be helpful and offer some sort of solution to those people.
I used to think not liking the way you look means you don’t completely embrace nor love yourself. But looking back, I think I was able to think like that because I had a certain level of confidence in the way I looked. After experiencing myself what it’s like to feel so much anxiety, insecurity and discomfort mainly because of my looks, I don’t agree with the statement “Looks don’t matter at all.”
I think we all know, though, that looks are not everything. I still agree with that.
Just because I got a new nose, it doesn’t suddenly give me a boost of confidence or change my personality. I’m still shy and a bit insecure. But rhinoplasty did help me care less about my nose and become less conscious of it. In that, my nose job was worth it and I don’t regret doing it.
I also think health and your appearance are correlated to a certain degree. They say the best health is the best beauty. Health management is not just about exercise and eating the right food. Your mental health is a very important part of health as well, and I think even if we are not clinically diagnosed with mental illness, it is hard to stay mentally purely health in modern society. At least that’s how it feels for me. I think I haven’t been mentally healthy and that’s probably what caused the negative change in my appearance too. But I try not to blame myself too much. I want to do the best I can each moment, and fix what’s needed to be fixed along the way.
I got really serious talking about rhinoplasty, but I mean it.
Lastly, to those of you who might have been disappointed with my decision, I wanna say, I really don’t know anything about life. I used to think that I know life. That I was enlightened with the greatest wisdom of life, and back then that was my truth. I shared what I genuinely thought to be true. But it turns out, what was once the truth is not necessarily the truth forever.
If you firmly believe in something, you’ll likely get to experience something else that contradicts that belief at some point in your life. At least that’s what happened to me. And at first I was confused. But I wanted to keep on believing what I initially believed to be true, because I didn’t want to prove myself wrong. But now I think it is a natural part of life that I should embrace, not resist, because I get to learn more with different truth in different moment.
So I no longer want to say that I know something for an eternal truth. But still, if something is my truth at that moment, I will say it and do it, because even if it’s not the truth forever, it is my truth at that moment, and I think that is what’s worth it.
Likewise, I will always try to make YouTube content with sincerity, honesty and hard work. I know my content isn’t perfect, but I’m always grateful that a lot of people recognize my sincere passion and hard work. And one more thing: just because I got a nose job, that doesn’t mean I will be appearing on camera more often. I will still make lessons using the same method, focusing on pen and paper. But maybe I will try to vlog more often and try to share more fun content to watch.
I also hope to share more content on this website. I’m still a newbie in website management, so please understand if I’m a bit slow.
Thank you for reading this long article. I hope you liked it.
Let me know what you thought in the comment below.